Spiritual Friendship

CNLP 835 | How to Trust God When You Don't Understand: John Ortberg, Ann Voskamp, and Toni Nieuwhof on Wanting to Give Up and What They Would Believe If They Weren't Christians

The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast, 13 October 2026. The book comes up at 1 hr 7 min in.

In response to a question about how to know who to trust, John Ortberg recommends Spiritual Friendship, a book written roughly a thousand years ago by the monk Aelred, who viewed God as friendship itself. Ortberg summarizes its guidance: friendship cannot be manufactured but comes as a gift; friends must have admirable character; it requires joy in the other's company; and deep friendship calls for a "period of probation" in which small, gradual steps of vulnerability reveal whether someone holds confidence or betrays it.

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