The Art of Fighting
Episodes about this book
4 episodesThe Modern Science of Ancient Wisdom
Host Rufus Griscom references a prior episode with Priya Parker and her argument that we should shift focus from self-help to group help, and that psychology has long treated the individual as its atomic unit even though humans have historically cohered and operated in groups. This connects directly to June Cohen's discussion of communal wisdom systems.
The Art of Fighting
Priya Parker joins host Rufus Griscom to discuss her new book, which argues that conflict is not the opposite of connection but a means of creating it. Parker introduces 'healthy heat' — generative conflict — and the artful fighter who develops skills to hold disagreement productively. The book is organised around the life cycle of group rupture: tear, grapple, and cleave. Parker emphasises that long-lasting groups need both love and conflict to form and endure.
323. Turn Up the Heat: Make Conflict More Constructive
Priya Parker is interviewed about her latest book. She explains the concept of 'healthy heat'—holding friction between people with care so it becomes generative—as a third path between conflict avoidance and domination. She describes banter as 'the elixir of pro-social conflict,' outlines a 'grapple' framework with specific steps for difficult conversations, and discusses how existential fights can signal whether a team should evolve or disband.
Can Conflict Actually Make Our Relationships Stronger? with Priya Parker
Priya Parker joins Brené Brown and Adam Grant to discuss her new book, arguing that conflict is a learnable skill essential for strong relationships. The conversation covers the spectrum from 'unhealthy peace' (avoidance) to 'unhealthy heat' (dominance), the role of the body in conflict, the claim that healthy conflict is the missing link in loneliness, and facilitation strategies—including fighting at low stakes to build skill before high-stakes moments arise.
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